TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SINGLE SEASON...
Dear Readers, Welcome back to God's Design Blog. Today's topic is very near and dear to me. Let's delve right into it shall we?
Soo you're single and wondering when is your prince charming or the woman of your dreams going to finally show up. "sigh" we have all been there. Frequently in the Single season, we hold out for the person who we think is ideal. You may have been attending events and aunties ask where is your plus one. You may see almost all your friends in happy relationships and there seems to be emptiness filling your soul.
Sure there are lots of dating apps and even hello social media where we can connect and meet persons.
What if I told you, your Single season doesn't need to be dull and grey as you presume it to be?
As Christians our main aim is to one day be partnered with the man or woman God has chosen for us.
However most of us use the Single season to cry out to God to send the person, open the door or give a sign if to pursue a particular woman/man. Sure all sounds right and on par but have you ever thought of the fact that God uses our Single season to prune melt and mold us before entering into a covenant with another person. Often, we loose focus and shift our perspective of always looking for the next available person that we miss it.
Single means one, since there is just you, think of the many possibilities you have to work on yourself , to accomplish goals and to step into purpose. People legally married or in relationships are exempted from many free time and possibilities than singles even spending time with God is reduced. Here I am saying to you TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SINGLE SEASON! It may sound selfish but it isn't, it's actually a season where you can choose to focus on your growth, your relationship with Christ and most importantly you can put energy into becoming WHOLE with Jesus, meaning you don't seek validation from people or platforms only God's approval will matter to you. Your future spouse will thank you one day.
Many singles use their free time to date around and constantly seek validation from the opposite sex. That is dangerous grounds to begin with if you're holding out for the right person. Let me shift your perspective a bit. Kate McVeigh is an itinerant minster, radio and TV personality, and author. According to Kate McVeigh, you can enjoy being single!
“To be able to enjoy this season,” she says, “we must get into faith instead of being anxious. We must believe that God is ordering our steps and preparing us for the future.” Don’t Wait. “Many single people think, ‘When I get married, then I’ll be happy,’ ” says Kate. “But then they get married, and they’re still not happy! So they think, ‘Well, when I have kids I’ll be happy.’ But they’re not. So they say, ‘When the kids move out, I’ll be happy.’ So they’re never happy! “We need to learn to enjoy every phase of our life now,” she says. “Many times we’re not happy in our current phase of life because we’re waiting for the next one. So we have to purpose in our hearts to be happy right where we are. That means enjoying where we are on the way to where we’re going.
That's right you can be single and loving it!!
You might be alone but you don’t have to be lonely. Community is a huge deal at every stage of our lives– even in Heaven! Take this time to meet all kinds of people, make friends, be a friend, and strength your bonds of community. By doing this now, you won’t insulate yourself in a marriage when things get tough. Instead, you’ll have a community to turn to.
Try a new food! Pick up a new hobby! Go skydiving! You have time, so use it!
Enriching and stretching ourselves is good and gives us a broader base to connect with ourselves, others, and the world at large. Why every month? So you actually do it without overwhelming yourself. For instance, it’s fairly easy to try one new food every month.
Marriage and family life throws us into all kinds of different situations. We need to be well-rounded enough to deal with them.
If you’re an introvert and you end up having quite a few kids, you won’t be alone all that often. So learn how to still be you while running a house full of people. Discover what you need to keep yourself sane and energized while that’s happening. Likewise, if you’re an extrovert, there will likely be times when you won’t be around many people (at least adults or rational children). You’ll need to learn how to adjust, also
Take this season to seek God like never before. Seek him diligently, there are soo many gifting and purpose in your life that you haven't even tapped into as yet. Be a crazy Jesus lover, let him fill you up and be your rock, father and friend in this season. It is very critical and it's the foundation for any marriage, when you are faced with many challenges, hurt and hiccups along the way, you won't be moved you will able to call on God. A personal, intimate relationship matters most in this season. Many singles go into marriage thinking their spouse will make them whole and contented for the rest of their lives which is totally wrong. We must seek God to quench us day in and day out.. Once you’re married and have children, setting aside a dedicated hour of prayer daily is really really tough. Not just because you have more to attend to (you will) but because your family will need you in ways you aren’t needed right now.
So spend some quality alone time with the Lord.
Being content in this season can come naturally once you occupy your time wisely.
Singleness is something either a lot of people enjoy or a lot of people struggle with, or both. It can be hard to be content in the midst of a season of being single. There’s always the question: “Will I ever get married?”. Let alone “Will anyone ever love me enough to want to marry me?” Only the Lord can answer this question for you, but here are some tips and insights on how to be content in a season of being single! Singleness is a BLESSING
A season of being single is a time to:
Focus on God by building up your relationship with Him, and a time of understanding who He really is.
Work on yourself and learn your identity in Christ.
Go on dates with Jesus!
You learn how to pursue others.
Teach you how to be vulnerable.
Grow you in intimacy.
It gives space to be intentional with others.
A Person’s Desire Part of being content in a season of being single is understanding our want to be in a relationship. We all have a deep desire to be fully known and still fully loved by someone. It’s how we are designed because God wants us to fill that desire with Him. A relationship does not fix this, as much as we think it will because our significant other is only human and there will always be rejection there. But God is the only one who can fill this void in us. This desire is not evil. Of course, it can be used for that. But it is God designed.
Our culture has morphed sexuality and as a response, the church has also morphed sexuality to seem wrong. We are told that sex is wrong and we shouldn’t have it. But that doesn’t change the desire. So no one is telling us and our young people what to do with sexuality. When in reality, Jesus is the answer. Shutting it down is not working. The desire is apart of us. Being content with being in a season of being single only comes through fulfillment in Christ. If we do not have that fulfillment in our single lives, our married lives will never be enough for us.
Your Relationship Right Now
Relationship has been around since the beginning of Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:18 says “It is not good that the man be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” God created us for relationship. Just how there’s God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. They’re all in relationship with each other and become one. In this season of singleness, the Lord is pursuing you because he longs for you to be content while single to produce health in relationship. So go after him! He wants to hear every little detail of your life. You’re in a relationship with God, your family, and your friends. You should be so in tune with the Lord, that when someone does come along, that your relationship with the Lord does not change, but grows.
The Four Boundaries T’s of Being Single
While in a season of being single, it’s important to fight for health in our relationship which means setting boundaries. Here’s some questions to ask yourself to evaluate your relationship with the opposite sex! Time – How much time are you talking to a person or spending time with the opposite gender? Do you find yourself gravitating towards that person more in a room full of people? How much of your thought life is taken up by someone else rather than God? Is your thought life crossing boundaries? Topic – What topics are you discussing? Have you talked to your same gender friends about this before? Are you giving away your heart and going too deep? Touch – How are you touching each other? For example a hug, hand on the back/shoulder. What is appropriate touch? Technology – How much time are you socializing with someone over technology? Are you constantly texting each other and going deep in conversations? Are you only privately communicating? These things may not seem like big things to you personally, but as a single person it is important to fight for your future relationships by setting boundaries now. Evaluate how you can protect your heart and others around you.
Sooo singles I hope this article was insightful to you.. There is a bucket list of things you can do to take advantage of your current single season TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SEASON.
GODBLESS YOU! MUCH LOVE!